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I have been struggling mightily during this winter and spring here in my new town of Portland, OR. I moved here from Southern Oregon on Dec. 26, and just as I finally got the last of the boxes unpacked at my home and organized the studio, the order came to quarantine at home or risk infection due to the Novel coronavirus. I had few friends here, and didn’t know much of the city, and now I had no job either! I had planned to begin teaching by April 1st, but now I felt, as many did, stunned and unprepared. How was I going to make this work? How could I keep moving forward despite these new road blocks?
I’ve always felt that making art – or any kind of creation – is one of the simple things that feeds my soul and is essential for all of us to have balanced, healthy lives. Making art can heal, uplift, and help people work out issues we may not even recognize we have, and when practiced together, can create a sense of community and support. The final piece of art one creates is just the bonus that comes out of this amazing process of exploration and discovery.
When the order to quarantine came through, I found myself initially frozen with panic. My normal anxiety had skyrocketed and just getting out of bed became a big accomplishment. I knew I was lucky in my personal situation – living in my own space, having a studio I could go to for work if I chose, but I just shut down. I stopped creating, I stopped going out except when it was absolutely critical. I started crying more, and binge eating. And although all of this was happening, I kept trying to push myself forward to create some new pathways to success. I managed to apply for and receive an emergency grant through the RACC (Regional Arts and Culture Council), with this money I made contact with a web designer to help me set up an online shop and new site for promoting my more playful works (this one right here!), and I contacted SCORE for some additional small business mentoring. I am slowly creating business plans for each of my workshops, and even ordered a new tripod for my smartphone to start creating online classes to establish a bigger reach for my teaching.
I am hopeful that even during these times of Covid19 separation, by joining together to create either virtually or in small responsible groups, we can continue the optimistic changes in values many of us have discovered while in quarantine, appreciation for “the little things”: quiet that allows us to hear the breezes and the birds again, the smell of homemade bread baking, the beauty of nature during these changing seasons, and the support of family and friends when we feel lonely or need support.
We connect with ourselves differently depending on whether we are alone or in a group. Creating alone allows me to focus my energies on myself and what I want to express to others about myself, while collaborating allows me to connect with my community and the greater world, taking me outside of myself and helping me to find my place in the world and a positive way to interact with others. For me, teaching mosaics to students who are open to new experiences enriches everyone involved. Creating in community gives me a sense of belonging, mattering, and helping to create a better world by listening to different perspectives and finding the things that cross boundaries and bond us rather than divide us. It gives me hope that things can get better, and that we all essentially want the same things…to be loved, accepted, and respected simply for who we are. I am recognizing the power of art to help me help others get through the day, the rough spots, and the issues of negative self talk and low self esteem.
During this time of isolating I began creating a couple of things that reflect what is close to my heart right now: bees, flowers, and little houses. Bees for the hope and sweetness I feel every time I realize how lucky I am to be here in this new beginning, no matter how compromised; flowers for the beauty all around me and the gratefulness I feel for each new healthy day; and houses for my sense of place, security, and belonging (more about house v. home in my next post). I will be selling these soon from my new online shop Bread and Butter Studios. Hope you will check it out!
Whether you create art with me moving forward or not, I sincerely hope this time of slowing down has been one of reflection, and that we will all move forward together with a new sense of caring, acceptance of what is, and belonging in our communities and in our world. We all have something to give, no matter how simple or seemingly small, we all have value. Please share yourself with others!
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We could all use a little more good!